St. Valentine's Day and Why I Married Bear

Today is St. Valentine's Day! St. Valentine was a Catholic priest who was martyred on February 14, around the year 270 A.D. Since one account of St. Valentine portrays him as performing Christian marriage at a time when marriage was illegal, he has become the patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.
Since St. Valentine is the patron saint of happy marriages, Bear and I always celebrate St. Valentine's Day in a small way. Usually we will give each other a sappy card, spend some time together, and maybe try to attend Mass if possible. Bear is working this weekend, so I will bake heart-shaped cookies and red cupcakes with the kids, and hopefully we can find some time together next weekend!
And this year, Bear did something differently. The doorbell rang yesterday, and I stepped out onto the front porch to find a box containing this:

Isn't that sweet? Even though I detest the commercialization of our holidays, I couldn't help but be touched by the thought. I had to tell the kids "No, that's MOMMY'S teddy bear!" I did share the chocolates with them, since I am trying to shed a few pounds.

In honor of St. Valentine's Day, and since my last blog post was about how Bear and I met, here is the story of how we decided to get married...

When Bear and I met, I told him that I was not wanting to be in a relationship. I just wanted to hang out and have fun. He accepted this, but he warned me "If you let me, I'll monopolize your time." At least he was honest about it. After we had been hanging out for awhile, I strongly suspected that he was looking for a wife. I knew that I should probably move on.
I was a bit gun-shy. As I mentioned in my other post, I had been married before, for five years. I married young, a week before my 18th birthday, but when I got married, I thought I knew just what I was doing. I thought I knew the man I was marrying. Apparently I didn't. There was no way I was going to make that mistake again.
Bear and I were also very different. He was a slob, and his apartment was a mess. I was organized and neat. He was quiet. I was outgoing. I said what was on my mind. He either kept things to himself or hinted around without coming out and saying what was on his mind.
The biggest difference in my mind was the fact that we attended different churches. He was Catholic. I was Baptist. I didn't see how we could reconcile the two. This is probably the area that we butted heads on the most.
The turning point for me came when I left the hospital where we worked together and took a job closer to home. At the time, we lived 55 miles apart, but we saw each other frequently at work and visited with each other when we weren't at work. He lived just down the street from the hospital, so it was easy for me to stop by his apartment either before or after work. I would now be working near my home, 5 days a week, with weekends off. He worked every other weekend and had reserve duty one weekend a month. I figured that we would gradually drift apart and that our relationship would run it's course.
He decided to get out of the Navy reserves. I was taken aback and told him, "You really shouldn't do that just because of me! We probably won't be together forever, you know." He assured me that he was planning to get out anyway.
In my new job, as assistant director of nursing at the local nursing home, I was responsible for staffing. Finding nurse's aides to cover the shifts was always a challenge, and when I couldn't find anyone to cover, I was expected to come in and do it myself. One evening, after working a 12 hour shift that day, Bear called me and said that he wanted to come see me. Shortly after I hung up the phone with him, the nursing home called to tell me that they only had 3 nurse's aides for the night shift. I spent about an hour calling around, then resigned myself to the fact that I would have to go work the 11pm to 7am shift. When Bear knocked on my door (neither of us had cell phones back then), I answered in my scrubs saying "I'm sorry you drove all this way, but I'm gonna have to go in to work in an hour. You can hang out here tonight if you'd like." He decided that he would just come with me and help out. All night long, he helped answer call lights, filled water pitchers, and helped me turn and clean the residents. When he got so tired he couldn't stay awake, he laid down on the floor of my office and closed his eyes for awhile. That was the moment...when I saw him walking down the hall with the water pitcher cart, visiting with the residents who were awake...that's when my heart melted and I knew that I had to hang on to him.
We dated for another year after that before I seriously began to entertain the notion of marriage, though. We were attending church together as often as our schedules would allow, sometimes he would come with me to my church, sometimes I would go with him to Mass. We both wanted to please God in our lives. There came a point where we both knew that we would either have make it permanent or part ways, and neither of us really wanted to part ways. We decided we'd both pray about it and see where the Lord led us. We kept coming back to the fact that as we grew closer to God, we also grew closer to each other. And that our relationship caused us both to want to draw closer to God.
The funny thing was that Bear never actually proposed to me; he just kept hinting every now and then to gauge my reaction. When he got me to the point that I wasn't so resistant to the idea, he suggested that we go talk to his priest. Eventually, I said "Well, OK."
Here we are going on ten years later, and we both think it was a pretty good idea to let God decide for us.

Now, if you read all that, you deserve a treat! The kids helped me bake these, and they decorated them all by themselves.

How I Met My Hubby

It was the spring of 1997. I was a 23-year-old newly graduated RN, working nights on the cardiac telemetry floor. At the ripe old age of 23, I had been divorced for a year and had a 3-year-old daughter. I won't get into that story here; I will just say that I was bitter and cynical. I figured that I could take care of myself and my daughter just fine, thank you, and I didn't need a man. I was casually dating, though. Just for fun.
A cute respiratory therapist at work caught my eye. He was quiet (which to me was ~mysterious~), and I asked about him. The older nurse who was mentoring me told me "That's Bear. He's a nice young man." Then she added "He's a Christian."
I said hello to him once in the hallway, but he didn't say hello back. "Snob", I thought. I blew it off and went on about my business.
Some time later (maybe a month? I dunno), I was making my evening rounds and went into a patient's room to do an assessment. Bear was in there giving the patient a breathing treatment. I introduced myself to the patient, informed him that I would be back after his treatment was finished, and wrote my name on the whiteboard. As I was writing, I heard Bear's voice..."That's my favorite one." I wasn't sure who he was talking to or what he was talking about. "Excuse me?" I said. "That jacket", he said, pointing to my lab jacket, which was a print with different colored dogs. I wasn't sure what to say, so I think I said something like "Oh, this? Thank you." And left the room.
After that, Bear hung around the nurses' desk more frequently. A lot of times, he just sat quietly listening to the conversation, but sometimes, he would actually join in. Sometimes, he would even make small talk with me. I talked about trying to move into the house I had just bought, and he offered to let me borrow his truck. "Wow" I thought, "this guy barely knows me, but he would let me borrow his truck?" If I hadn't already had someone letting me borrow a truck and helping me move, I would have taken him up on that offer.
Later, I talked about painting and wallpapering every room. It was a 3 bedroom 2 bath house, with a separate dining room, so it wasn't a small task. I was hoping he'd offer to come help out with that. (He did later. But I'm jumping ahead.)
Some of the nurses noticed him hanging around a lot and began talking to him about me when I wasn't around. "Why don't you ask her out?" they asked. The story I got was that he thought I was interested in this other nurse, a guy who was just a "buddy" and nothing else. I made sure to point out in conversations when he was around that the other nurse and I were just friends and that I wasn't interested in him in that way. He told someone else that he thought I was "too strong-willed and independent." Well, he was right about that one, but that wasn't going to change.
I eventually got tired of waiting for him to ask me out, so one night, after he had left the desk, I called his number (we all carried little phones around in our pockets) and asked him if he wanted to come see my house and have some drinks with me. He did. That morning when I got home from work, there was a message from him on my answering machine. That night, he came over. We talked all night long, played cards, listened to music, and finally decided to go to sleep around 7am. I let him sleep in my room, and I slept in Sunshine's room (she was at her dad's house that night.)
The girls at work were dying for details, and they did not believe a word of it when I told them that we had been alone at my house all night long, drinking alcoholic beverages together, and he did not try to kiss me. Well, I swear, that's really what happened. Except he did kiss my hand before he left the next day. He didn't know it, but that scored him some big time points! ;-)
When I got to work the next night, there was a note in my mailbox from him. I sent him a jar of bubbles with a note attached. Those notes are in our scrapbook.
And about a month later we finally did kiss. But that's another story.

March For Life 2009

Our family is 100% pro-life. I realize that some people are offended by the term "pro-life" and would rather we use "anti-abortion" instead. Yes, we are against abortion. But our pro-life stance goes deeper than just abortion. We respect human life from the moment of conception until natural death, and we believe that it is up to God and not us to decide when life begins and when it ends. We do not support euthanasia, the death penalty, or unjust wars. We believe that it's our responsibility to protect the innocent.
One thing that we are not is "anti-choice". I'm willing to bet big money that everyone reading this understands how babies are created (including myself, for all those folks who think it's witty to ask me "Don't y'all know what causes that?" ) We all know that sex creates babies. We all know that contraceptives can and do fail. We can choose to say "Yes, I'm willing to take on this responsibility, knowing full well what the consequences may be" or we can choose to say "No, I'm not ready to accept the possibility of those consequences."

“My body, my choice!” “Keep your laws off my body!” Sure. But there is another body to consider here, besides your own. Should you have the choice to rip an innocent human being apart limb from limb? Do you even know what happens during an abortion? Click here or here. I warn you, these videos are hard to watch, but if you identify yourself as "pro-choice", don't you think you should be aware of what the choice you are "pro" entails? This is the body that is affected by choice.

“It’s not a baby, it’s a fetus.” Have you watched the videos above yet? A fetus is just another stage in human development. Before you were an adult, you were a child. Before you were a child, you were an infant. Before you were an infant, you were a fetus. Before you were a fetus, you were an embryo. My point here is that from the moment of conception, a separate, unique, human entity is created. By the time that most women realize they’ve missed a period, a tiny human heart begins beating. Abortion stops that tiny human beating heart. The real question here is when should you have the choice to kill an innocent human?

My favorite one is this:

This one sums up for me the “pro-choice” mentality well. This is the crudeness, the lack of respect, the self-absorbed, instant gratification mentality that plagues our society. My dear woman, I am thinking outside your box. I’m thinking of the destruction of an innocent human life. I’m thinking of the way having an abortion will change your life forever, whether you realize it or not. Do you understand the risk of complications (including death) from “safe”, legal abortion? Do you realize that so many women are psychologically scarred by abortion that there is a name for it—Post-Abortion Syndrome? Yes, I AM thinking outside your “box”. Are you?

Our Virtue and Saint of the Week

As part of our homeschooling, we try to incorporate a new virtue and learn about a new saint each week.  I also pick a memory verse for memorization that follows our theme. (St. Jerome wrote "Ignorance of the Scriptures is ignorance of Christ"!)  I use Catholic Families Today's schedule as inspiration. 

This week's virtue is JOY! After beginning our homeschool day with prayer, we talk about what it means to be full of joy, how we act when we are full of joy, and how when our hearts are full of joy, there is no room for other things--like anger or meanness. We listen to an upbeat Christian CD and dance around the den for awhile to show our joy.  This week's virtue has been one of my favorites so far, and I think that the dancing around the den while praising the Lord will be a good way to start every morning from now on! 

The Scripture verse that we will memorize this week is from John 16:22.  "...I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you." Jesus was telling his disciples that He would have to leave them shortly, and that they would be sad for a little while.  But He promised to return, and the sorrow in their hearts would be turned to joy! 

Our Saint for this week is St. Elizabeth Ann Seton.  Mother Seton was a mother of five, a young widow, and a teacher. She was also the first person born in the United States to be canonized a saint.  We've read about St. Elizabeth Seton's life, we've colored a coloring page, and we will ask St. Elizabeth Seton to pray for us during our family prayers this week.

I Know Beans

One day recently, I went to the grocery store and spent $159 and some change on 2 weeks worth of groceries for a family of seven. The woman behind me remarked on my food choices, wondering if I am also on "a diet" (she was) because of all the “healthy” foods in my cart. I explained, “No, this is just the way we eat...we are a family of seven and I try to be frugal and feed my family healthy foods.”
This reminded me that I’ve promised numerous times over the years to share tips and recipes with various mamas. It has taken me awhile, but here are a few.

One of the things I do to save money on groceries is to plan our meals. Every two weeks, on payday, I sit down and write out menus for the next two weeks. I look at the days that Bear or I are working, what activities we have going on different nights, and anything special coming up, and I plan accordingly. On the nights I know I’m going to be busy, I plan crockpot and bread machine meals. Voila, supper is done! Helps cut down on the temptation to get some processed quick-fix thingie. Or eat out.

As I mentioned, we do very little processed or refined foods normally. We drink water or milk (though the benefits of drinking milk—especially pasteurized and homogenized--are debatable, we are still in the habit.) Snacks are fruit/veggies, cheese, nuts, sometimes yogurt or Kashi crackers, or homemade snacks. And we substitute beans for meat on most nights. Beans are cheap! They also are high in protein, fiber, antioxidants, potassium...um, I’m sure I’m forgetting something. But they really are good for the heart. Aside from using beans in chili, soups, and the good ol’ ham and beans, there are many other ways to eat beans. Here are a few of our favorite frugal bean/legume recipes...

Greek-Style Beans
1 pkg dry white beans
1 can tomato paste
1 TBSP lemon juice or juice from 1 lemon
1 med onion
Garlic cloves, however many you like! I use at least 2
Dried oregano, a few shakes
A bay leaf
Salt and pepper to taste
1 can black olives
Soak, drain, and rinse beans as you normally would. Cover beans with water, add the rest of the ingredients except olives. Simmer til tender, I think I usually cook them around 3 hours? I’ll have to start paying better attention. Break olives in half and add. I serve with a nice green salad and homemade breadsticks or couscous.

Bean Burgers
1 pkg dry beans, cooked (any kind will do—we’ved used pinto, kidney, black, and navy)
1 cup rolled oats
1 egg
2 TBSP soy sauce
garlic (optional)
onion (optional)
Mash cooked beans. Mix in egg, rolled oats, and seasonings. Shape into patties, and fry in 1-2 tsp of a healthy oil (like olive oil) until browned. Serve on whole wheat bun with hamburger fixins! Even my picky eater will eat these. 

Sweet and Sour Lentils with Rice
1/2 c. dry lentils
3 c. water
2 T apple cider vinegar
2 T honey
1 T soy sauce
1/2 t. ground ginger
1/2 c. water
1 t. cornstarch
1 small onion, sliced
2 T oil
Bring 3 c. water to a boil and cook lentils for 25 minutes. Drain and set aside. Combine next 5 ingredients and bring to a boil. Spoon out a little of the liquid and mix with cornstarch to make a thin paste, then add to liquid mixture. (This is so cornstarch doesn't lump.) Saute onion until soft. Add cooked lentils and mix well. Add lentil mixture to sauce and simmer for 5 minutes. Serve over rice, with steamed oriental vegetables.

Spicy Black Bean Soup
1 medium onion
4 medium garlic cloves (or 2 tsp minced garlic)
1 bag dried black beans
½ tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 can broth
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can green chilies
Salt & pepper to taste
Frozen corn
Soak and drain beans, cook with spices until almost done. Add corn, cook until done. I usually serve this with cornbread and a salad.

Split Pea Soup
2 TBSP olive oil
1 each medium carrot, celery, and onion, finely chopped
1 bag dry green split peas, rinsed and picked over
1 can broth + 4 cups hot water
1/2 tsp. dried thyme leaves
1 bay leaf
Salt & pepper to taste
Sauté veggies in oil until softened. Add these and the rest of ingredients to peas. Bring mixture to a boil, cover, and reduce heat so liquid is simmering. Cook until peas are very tender, about 1 to 1-1/4 hours. Remove bay leaf. Transfer mixture to a food processor and pulse until almost smooth. Return to pot and heat until hot, adding more water, if necessary. Soup should be rather thick.

Refried Beans
1 pkg pinto beans
1 TBSP oil
1-2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 med onion, chopped
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder
Salt & pepper to taste
Soak and cook pinto beans as you normally would. Heat oil in skillet and sauté onion and garlic until tender. Mash beans, add spices, and transfer to skillet, stirring until heated through. Serve as a side dish to your favorite Mexican meal, or roll up in flour tortillas with some cheese and picante sauce to make burritos.

Hummus
2 cups cooked chickpeas/garbanzos
1 TBSP lemon juice
3-4 cloves garlic (or 2 tsp minced garlic)
¼ tsp cumin
2-3 TBSP tahini or peanut butter
1 TBSP parsley
2 tsp olive oil
Salt & pepper to taste
Drain liquid from chickpeas, reserve some. Blend ingredients in food processor until smooth, adding more liquid if needed for desired consistency. Serve with whole wheat pitas, toast, crackers, or as veggie dip.

Chili verde
1 pkg dry white beans
2 cans green enchilada sauce
1 can green chilies
1 med onion
Salt & pepper to taste
Soak, drain, and rinse beans. Put all ingredients in the pan, bring to a boil, and simmer til beans are tender. (Add water if needed.) Serve with brown rice and a salad.

Hoppin' John
1 pkg dry black-eyed peas
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1 garlic clove
1 bay leaf
Salt & pepper to taste
1 can tomato paste
Bacon or ham pieces (optional)
Soak, drain, and rinse peas. Add all ingredients to pot, with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil and simmer til peas are tender. I like to serve with cornbread or brown rice and steamed cabbage.

Christmas 2008

Our Christmas celebration varies a bit from year to year depending on Bear's work schedule. This year, Bear had to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, leaving the house at 5:30am and getting home at 8pm.
The kids and I met Bear after work on Christmas Eve, we had dinner at our favorite restaurant, then we went to the 8pm Mass at the Cathedral.
On Christmas morning, we woke the kids up at 4:30am so that we could open presents before Bear left for work. Since I had worked a few extra shifts at the hospital, we had a big Christmas! While the kids spent the morning playing with their new toys, I made some homemade cinnamon rolls using Pioneeer Woman's recipe (if ya'll haven't heard of her, check out her blog! It's in my links). This was my first attempt at such an endeavor, but they turned out yummy; the recipe is pretty fool-proof. My Dad's homemade fudge recipe didn't fare so well, but I was too tired to try again. Maybe tomorrow. Somewhere around 11am, Gem conked out on the couch, the other kids began drooping, and I seized the moment. We all napped until around 2pm. Then we went to visit my grandma and my stepmom. In the evening, I cooked a turkey dinner with all the trimmings for Bear to enjoy with us when he got off work.
Everytime I was tempted to whine about Bear having to work such long hours, I thought of all the women who didn't get to spend Christmas with their husbands this year. I especially thought of the men and women overseas. It helped me to remember to be grateful for what I have.

Advent/Christmas/Epiphany Traditions

This is one of my favorite times of year, so it just seemed appropriate to share some of our family's traditions.
Next to Easter, the time of time of year that brings us the most joy is Christmas.  As with Easter, our Christmas celebration is preceded by a period of preparation.  We call this Advent, during which we prepare to celebrate Christ's coming in three ways...His first Advent when the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, His second Advent when He will come as King to set up His everlasting kingdom on earth, and His third Advent, when we consciously invite Him to come and dwell in our hearts.
Advent begins four Sundays before Christmas ( Nov. 29, 2008 ), and lasts through Christmas Eve. The liturgical color of purple is used, which is a color of expectation, penance, and sorrow. We recall the words of John the Baptist as he prepared the way for the Messiah...'Repent, the kingdom of heaven is at hand. We examine ourselves as we look for His second coming with the questions 'Am I prepared to meet the Righteous Judge face to face? What changes do I need to make in my life?'  And despite the joy of looking forward to celebrating Christmas, we also remember that Christ was born to suffer and die for us.  We do not separate His Incarnation from His sacrifice. 

Catholics celebrate Christmas by attending Mass, either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  What better way to celebrate Christ's birthday than to gather round His table? One of my personal favorite times to attend Mass is the Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve!  Our Christmas celebration lasts for twelve days and ends on January 6, the Feast of the Epiphany.  On the Epiphany, we celebrate the three wise men finding and worshipping Jesus.

As with all of our other celebrations, there are many traditions that surround our celebration of Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany.  Some of these traditions have their origins in pagan customs, for which we are frequently criticized.  Our thought on this is that if God can take pagan sinners such as ourselves, transform us, and use us to bring Him honor and glory, then we also can we take customs that have origins in places besides Christianity, 'baptize' them, and use them to bring honor and glory to God.  For us they never mean anything else. These customs and traditions are useful for keeping our focus on Christ, strengthening our relationship with Him, and teaching spiritual truths to our children in a way that is meaningful to them. Here are some of our favorites...

The Advent Wreath
This is a custom that began in pre-Christian Germany, in which evergreen wreaths were gathered and lighted during the dark days of December as a sign of hope in the coming spring.  Today, Christians use these wreaths with candles during Advent as a symbol of our hope in Christ, the everlasting Light. The Advent wreath consists of four candles, three violet/purple and one rose-colored, that we light during our evening meal in the weeks leading up to Christmas, one the first week, two the second week, and so on.  The rose-colored candle is lit during the third week, as a sign of joy that Christmas is almost here.  The lighting of these candles are accompanied by prayers and/or Scripture readings.  In our family, we also include a white candle in the middle, white symbolizing joy and celebration, which we light on Christmas Eve and each of the twelve days of Christmas until Epiphany.



The Blessing of the Christmas Tree
We bless our Christmas tree, using Scripture readings (Ezekiel 17:22-23) and prayers.  For us, our tree becomes another symbol of Christ--the tender shoot that grew to become a majestic cedar and the Tree of Life.  As we turn the lights on our tree, we are reminded again that Jesus is the Light of the world. 
When we decorate our tree, I let the children do the majority of the decoration, and I leave the ornaments wherever they place them.  Even if there are two of the same color on the same branch. ;-)


The Jesse Tree
This is a lovely way to count down the days until Christmas! Beginning on the first Sunday of Advent, Bible passages are read daily, beginning in Genesis and taking us through salvation history up until Christ's birth. Each daily reading has a corresponding ornament, made from construction paper and laminated, with symbols drawn on them.  The ornament is hung on a small (12 inch) tree by the children after we've finished our reading. This provides them with a visual picture of our Lord's ancestry. 
To view the readings and ideas for creating your own Jesse Tree, click here.

The Creche
St. Francis of Assisi is credited with first building a creche (nativity scene) as part of Christmas celebration. We place a creche in our home at the beginning of Advent. However, the baby Jesus does not appear until Christmas Eve, and then the shepherd with his sheep moves over to worship him.  Also on Christmas Eve, we place the wise men at the edge of the table, and each day they move closer until Epiphany, when they finally make it to the baby Jesus to worship Him.



Our Christmas Chain
We make our sacrifices and our good works visible by creating a 'Christmas chain'. When any of us 'get caught' doing something for someone else, this is written on a strip of construction paper and taped together to make chain links. The chain is then wrapped around our Christmas tree.



St. Nicholas
We prefer to teach our children about the REAL St. Nicholas rather than the fat man with the flying reindeer who lives at the North Pole. The main reason is that we want to keep our Christmas celebration focused on Christ's birth. But also, we want to be truthful with them. St. Nicholas is a real live person. On earth, he served our Lord as a bishop in Myra (modern day Turkey), and he died on December 6, 343 A.D. Since we believe in eternal life in Christ, we believe that St. Nicholas is alive in heaven and praying for us! We celebrate his feast day on December 6 by surprising the children with treats in their stockings and reading stories about St. Nicholas' good deeds, which have inspired the modern day 'Santa Claus' traditions. By celebrating St. Nicholas in this way, we keep the fun of his traditions, we keep him in his proper context, and our Christmas celebration is centered on celebrating Christ's birth. To learn more about the real St. Nick, click here.



Epiphany
On the Epiphany, the kids make crowns of construction paper, glitter, jewels, and they wear silk shawls, robes, etc. to dress up like royalty.  The night before the Epiphany, they think of things that they would like to do for Jesus in the upcoming year.  These are written down or wrapped up as 'presents' which they place in front of the baby Jesus.
For our meal, we set the table fancy, as is fit for royalty!  We have an epiphany cake, in which a quarter is hidden.  The one who finds the piece with the quarter in it gets to be the 'high king or queen' and will get to carry the Christmas star for the procession.
Another tradition is the blessing the door facings.  As the royalty processes through the house singing a hymn (like 'We Three Kings'), the door facings are marked '20+C+M+B+08' with chalk and sprinkled with holy water.  The last two numbers change each year.  The C+M+B means 'Christus Mansionem Benedictat' (Christ bless this home.)   Also, although Scripture doesn't tell us how many magi there actually were or their names, from tradition, we get the number three and the names Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar.
In some countries, the presents are opened on Epiphany rather than Christmas, in remembrance of the presents presented to Jesus.

The Kids' Visit With St. Nick

Santa made an appearance at our library story hour on December 9. The children enjoyed visiting with him.


It was Juju's first visit with Santa. He asked for new shoes.


Gem asked for a Barbie doll.


Caveman asked for a monster truck.


Mojo asked for a robot.


We teach our children that the real St. Nicholas is in heaven with Jesus, praying for all the little boys and girls on earth.  We tell them the stories of the kind deeds he performed on earth.  We know that all good gifts come from Jesus, but we also know that Jesus has helpers...like St. Nicholas, mommy, daddy, and others who show love and kindness.  The children enjoy visiting with one of these helpers and are always eager to spill their Christmas wishes!

Juju 3 months old

Our Juju is now three months old! He is giggling, squealing, and has found his hands.

Welcome, Juju!

Our family welcomed Juju into the outside world on August 18, 2008 at 1:32am.
For those of you who are interested in such details, here is the story of his birth...

Once again, I was "overdue" and anxious. I really wanted to give birth at home, and Deb had said that after 42 weeks, I would be transferred to the care of an obstetrician. Some of you may remember that Gem had to be coaxed out at 42 weeks. In fact, for my past 3 deliveries, my membranes had been ruptured by an OB to start the labor process. For some reason, my babies don't seem to want to come out on their own! Deb didn't want to resort to this, as it increases the risk of complications. But the natural methods we had tried--including Deb's 3-day induction regimen--had gotten us nowhere, and we were faced with the prospect of a hospital birth. So she decided to come to the house on Sunday evening (Monday was the 42 week mark), and if baby was low enough, she would break my water.

Sunday evening, we gave the children their "big sibling" presents, and Greg took the younger ones to my stepmom's house while Deb examined me. Baby's position and heart rate looked favorable, so when Greg returned, shortly before 7 pm, my water was broken.


While waiting for contractions to begin, Deb and NaDean left to go get some dinner. While they were gone, Greg, the older girls, and I went for a walk, praying a rosary as we walked. Then the older girls went to their room to do their teenaged-girl things. When Deb and NaDean returned from dinner, we sat around visiting, listening to music (everything from Rachmaninov to Cream, lol) and getting out the scrapbooks. It took awhile for things to get started, and I did a lot of walking around and squatting to try to move things along. I also took some homeopathic herbs every 5 minutes for thirty minutes. Eventually, I began to feel contractions that I knew were the real thing. When the contractions started becoming more regular and uncomfortable, I decided to try to lie down and rest for a bit. I didn't get to rest for very long. Around 11pm, contractions started getting serious. We filled our old claw-foot bathtub, and I labored in a candle-lit bath for awhile, before it became difficult to relax. At this point, Deb suggested that I might prefer the birthing stool, so I made my way to the bedroom. When I left the tub, I was 7cm dilated. Shortly after I got to the bedroom, I was dilated to 9 1/2 cm, with an anterior cervical lip. At this point, no position I could get in seemed comfortable. Deb assisted me in pushing around the cervix, but it seemed to be a long difficult process. We finally got past the cervix, and I was completely dilated, but pushing still seemed really difficult compared to my other deliveries. I think I pushed for at least 30 minutes. As long and painful as it was, I didn't feel anxious because Deb and NaDean were calm, patient, and encouraging. Such a far cry from the hospital personnel in my previous deliveries. The whole atmosphere was just different, being in the comfort of our bedroom with a low light, looking up and seeing the crucifix that was given to us by the priest at our wedding. And of course, Greg was right beside me, kissing me, running his fingers through my hair, supporting me, telling me how proud he was of me.
Eventually, Deb suggested squatting, and I did this with Greg sitting behind me and supporting my arms. That got the head out in just a few more pushes. The shoulders took a couple more pushes. And there was my baby. He was placed immediately in my arms, and for the first time ever, I got to discover the sex of my baby on my own. I can't tell you how exciting it was to peek underneath the blanket and to exclaim to Bear "it's a BOY!" Once again, the kids were right!
He latched on and began nursing right away.


Thanks to the patience and support of the midwives, I only had a small amount of tearing (needed 5 stitches) with much less discomfort afterward than my previous deliveries.

After the placenta was delivered, we woke the girls up to come meet their brother/cousin.
 

Then we all watched Deb and NaDean examine him. He was perfect of course. He weighed 9 lbs 6 oz and was 22 1/2 inches long!

  

After I rested awhile, I took a shower, gave Juju his first sponge bath, and then we both took a much-needed nap.
 

Greg waited until daylight to get the little ones. They were so excited to see their new brother, especially Caveman! Well, Gem may just be the most "smitten" of them all. She kissed the baby about 500 times. When her older siblings try to hold him, she screams " Nonono! Mine!"
  

Many people have asked me why on earth I would want to have my baby at home with a midwife instead of in the hospital. There are so many differences between an OB's care and a midwife's care! The midwife really gets to know her clients and the experience is a much more personal, intimate, relaxed experience. I never had to wait for visits in an office full of people just to have her spend 10 minutes to listen to the baby's heart rate and ask if I had any questions. Instead, I just rang her doorbell and was seen right away. The kids played with a basket of toys that she keeps available, and they were included and involved in the visits. The midwife probably spent as much time with me during ONE visit than my OB did for all visits combined! When I voiced pregnancy discomforts to the OB, the best I got was a sympathetic pat and a "hang in there, it won't be much longer." The midwife actually had suggestions for things that would help ease the discomfort, things that would make make me think "this is my fifth baby, why has no one ever mentioned this before?"
A few days before Juju's birth, when I was having contractions that weren't all that strong but were regular, Deb and NaDean drove to my house in the middle of the night and camped out on my couch and recliner, just in case.
During the labor and delivery process, everything was focused on my comfort and easing the baby's passage into this world, rather than on “policy and procedure”. The midwives used low lights, soft voices, stayed in the background and allowed me to labor in my own way, and stepped up to offer a suggestion or help when needed. Baby never left my sight.
After delivery, the midwife insisted that I stay in bed/couch/recliner for a week, and NO housework, cooking, or lifting toddlers for 2 weeks. I thought that was a little overkill; in the past I had always been told to "take it easy for a few days." But she was right. I bled less and healed more quickly this time than with my previous deliveries.
She came back to my house to check on me and the baby the next day, and then we did the PKU and birth certificate stuff a few days later. For questions and concerns, she was always reachable on her cell phone.
All in all, this has been my best birth experience. If we have another baby, I would choose another homebirth with these ladies.