Remembering my beautiful friend

Andrea was called to her eternal home on Mother's Day, May 10 2009, after a six year battle with breast cancer. She was a loving daughter, sister, wife, mother to three beautiful girls, the favorite teacher of most of her 7th grade English students, and friend to so many. She was such a powerful presence that her absence will leave a void in the lives of those who know and love her.
I've known Andrea since third grade, and we became good friends in 9th grade. Through the years, she's been a huge part of my life. She was a bridesmaid in mine and Bobby's wedding, and the three of us rented a house together for awhile. She insisted that I take a pregnancy test and held my hand while I waited for the result when I found out I was pregnant with Sunshine. I was a bridesmaid in hers and Laith's wedding. She read the scriptures in mine and Bear's wedding, and she made our wedding cake. She's hosted baby showers for me, been at the hospital when some of my children were born, been at our baptisms and First Communions, birthdays, and other special events. Our children have grown big together.

Although she had undergone several rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, a lot of us were convinced that she was invincible. She never let it slow her down. She still was teaching class and visiting with friends a couple weeks ago. It was a little over a week ago that we discovered that it was time to say our goodbyes.

This past Wednesday night, she had a bad night and was in a lot of pain. The hospice nurse had said that if she continued to decline as rapidly as she had so far, then she would have about 2-3 days left. I was distressed, unable to sleep, and I wound up driving to a nearby Perpetual Adoration chapel in the middle of the night. I prayed in front of the Blessed Sacrament--Mother Teresa's emergency novena and all 20 decades of the rosary.
While I was there praying and crying out to God for a miracle, a question came to me. What if Andrea had just won a trip to some beautiful, exotic location, free from all care? Would I be so distressed, begging for her to stay HERE? No, I would send her off with great joy, excited for the opportunity that she's been given, maybe even a little envious of her good fortune. I realized that the journey she was about to embark upon is greater than anything earth could offer her. I would have been happy to see God work a miracle for the sake of her young daughters, or in the hope that some of her unbelieving loved ones would be converted. But at that time, I came to be at peace with sending her off on her journey.

Siobhan, Donnita, Sandy, and I visited her on Thursday. She had always said that she wished she could get Sandy, Siobhan, and me all together at the same time, but it never had worked out. I was afraid that after the night she had, it was going to be too late for her to enjoy all of us being there together. But I was wrong! She wanted to put on the new pajamas that her grandma brought her, get in the wheelchair, and sit at the table with us. She was able to eat a couple bites, drink a little, and take her medicines. Although she seemed confused at times, she knew who we all were, and she seemed very happy to see us. She would turn and look at each of us at different times, smile her beautiful smile, and reach out to hold a hand or give a hug. Once she went back to bed, she slept very deeply for the rest of the afternoon. She actually seemed more happy and at peace than I've seen her in a long time.

There are times when I don't think we've had enough time to adjust to the fact that she really is leaving us, but at the same time, I'm glad she didn't have a long, drawn-out period of suffering. And I'm thankful for the time we had with her. I'm thankful that I had the opportunity to pray a rosary with her during her last week here. I thought she was asleep when I sat down beside her to whisper the prayers, but then she reached to hold my hand. I could see her lips moving in prayer along with me at times, see her trying to keep track of the prayers on her fingers at times, and occasionally she would open her eyes and smile at me. What a blessing that memory is to me! (If you are wondering...no, she wasn't Catholic, but she loved the rosary just the same.) I'm thankful that her friends were able to give her a good send-off and let her know how much she was loved. I'm thankful that her last moments were surrounded by loving family. I'm thankful that her family had time to prepare for her leaving. I'm thankful that she is reunited with her youngest sister, whom she missed so much. I'm even a little envious that she actually got to see our Blessed Mother on Mother's Day.
I will miss visiting with her at the girls' ballgames, spending lazy afternoons at the pool, those increasingly rare occasions when I could catch her on the phone to chat. I will cherish all the wonderful memories I have of her. The night we went running barefoot through a freshly plowed field enjoying the feel of the dirt on our feet. The time we both drove 30 miles in the middle of the night to meet each other halfway at a gas station so we could visit in person. Sitting on the front porch swing sharing a bottle of White Zinfandel at 3:00pm (the whole bottle!), listening to the Doors, waving at the passing cars. Floating lazily in the lake, singing terribly. Long phone conversations about motherhood, God's grace in our lives, lessons we'd learned.

I will always love Andrea and miss her while I am here on earth, but I am so thankful for the hope of being reunited with her someday.

Wisdom

I mean to post something on our virtue/Scripture/saint every week, but you know how it is. Life, five kids, work, and all. ;-)

This past week our virtue was wisdom. What is wisdom? I define wisdom as having knowledge and making good use of it, knowing the correct thing to do and making the choice to do it, using good judgment, understanding. What good is knowing something if we do not know how to use that knowledge? What good is reading and listening if we do not understand and apply what we've read and heard to our lives? Simply knowing the right thing to do does us little good if we do not also realize that we have to choose to act on it.
Wisdom does not come naturally to all of us, but the good news is that we all have a way to obtain it! The Scripture verse we have chosen to memorize this week is James 1:5 (RSV), "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all men generously and without reproaching, and it will be given him." I believe this wholeheartedly, and I will never cease my asking.

Each Friday, if the children can commit our Scripture verse to memory and recite it for me, I give them a dollar. I have no problem with bribing the children to memorize their Scriptures. I'll be happy to do whatever it takes to help them permanently etch the Scriptures into their memories. All the candy and bribes I received from memorizing Scripture verses Sunday School growing up did me no harm whatsoever, but those verses are still in my memory today. They come to me in prayer, they come to me as an answer to prayer, and they come to comfort me in times of stress.

Our saint for this week is Catherine of Sienna, whose feast day was April 29. St. Catherine is a hard example to follow, with her severe ascetism, but she is an example to us nonetheless. She was the youngest of 25 children, and answered the call at a young age to devote her life to God. She devoted her life to caring for the sick and poor, and her wisdom caused her to rebuke a pope...and he listened to her. She received the stigmata, which became visible after her death, and she is one of the saints whose body was found incorrupt after her death. She is one of the Doctors of the Church. Her writings can be found here.
St. Catherine of Sienna, pray for us!

Happy birthday, Caveman!

I can't believe my baby boy is five years old.


For his birthday, we all went to see "Monsters vs. Aliens". He got underwear, shoes, and bedsheets for his presents. If you don't know the story behind that, he asked for a skateboard for his birthday, but a few weeks before, I found that he had ripped holes in his bedsheets using a screwdriver. Yeah. His tearing up things has been a big problem for us, and I'm ready to put a stop to it. I told him that with the money that I would have used for a skateboard, I was going to have to buy him new sheets instead.
I know some folks thought that was just too harsh of a punishment. I don't see it as a punishment, I see it as logical consequences. And I'm not a totally mean mama. I did get him Batman sheets (and Batman/Spiderman/Hulk underwear and Spiderman shoes). As you can see in the picture, he's not permanently scarred.

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday started bright (or dark with rainclouds) and early. We have a tradition of making Resurrection Cookies the night before Easter, but the weather forecast was calling for rain, and the cookies do not turn out well when the humidity is high. So we arose early to make Resurrection Rolls instead. This will probably be our new tradition. I found the rolls are simpler to make than the cookies. They also made a nice breakfast with coffee and sausage.



In spite of the downpour, thunder, and lightning, we had a large turnout at Mass. In contrast with the dreariness outside, the sanctuary was bright, warm, and fragrant with lilies, candles, and incense. In addition to celebrating Easter, we got to see the young ones at Church receive their First Holy Communion. I taught the class this year for the first time, and I was proud of the four young men who received their First Holy Communion.

We came home to a roast in the slowcooker and enjoyed a lovely Easter dinner together. And of course, we took lots and lots of pictures. It was Juju's first Easter!

Diamond Digging

Happy birthday, Mojo! I can't believe my girl is 8 years old already.



For her birthday, Mojo wanted to go digging for diamonds. So we packed some sandwiches and drinks and made a day of it. We didn't find any diamonds, but we did find some other cool rocks. Mojo also got a bag of quartz from the gift shop that she thought was as pretty as diamonds.

Science Fair

Today our homeschool group hosted a science fair. This is the first year we've done this, and I was very pleased with the turn-out. There were 16 projects presented by the children, and I learned some new things about ladybugs, camels, hippos, plants, and diet coke mixed with mentos. :-) We gave out certificates to the children who participated, and we plan to submit a picture to our local newspaper.



This was Mojo's introduction to the scientific method. Her hypothesis was "I think that if I add enough salt to water, an object will float in the water." She tested her hypothesis by placing an egg in one cup of water. She added salt, one teaspoon at a time, until the egg floated in the water. She recorded her observations with the help of Mama and the camera. Her conclusion was that adding 7 teaspoons of salt to one cup of water would make an egg float in the water. Adding more fresh water caused the egg to float between the fresh and salt water. We then learned some interesting facts about the Dead Sea.



Mojo loves science, and she really enjoyed learning about the scientific method and conducting her own experiment. We chose a simple expirement because I wanted her to do most of the work. I helped with taking the pictures, printing things out, and helping her to organize her materials, but she concucted the experiment, made the observations, drew a conclusion, and wrote everything down. She was proud of her work, and I was proud of it, too!

Our First Tournament

For those of you wondering how we did yesterday, it all went pretty well. Mojo is 7 (almost 8) years old, which is the youngest our system will accept children, and she's been learning for almost a year. She tied for 3rd place in sparring and got a participation medal for kata. I was just proud that she was brave enough to get out there and do her kata in front of everyone!



I also competed this year and won 1st place in empty-hand kata, 2nd place in weapons kata (nunchaku), and 2nd place in sparring.

Sibling Love

One of the reasons I decided to have a large-ish family--aside from the fact that babies are just so darn sweet!--is because I wanted my children to have the experience of siblings. I've heard it said (was it Pope John Paul II?) that the best gift you can give your children is another sibling. It certainly has been true in our household. Sure, they fight. Drives me up the wall. But they also learn that life is more fun when they get along. Life is more fun when they share. My girls are blessed with sisters. They are also blessed with learning how to tolerate boys. My boys are blessed with a brother. They are also blessed with sisters to pester. The older ones are blessed with having babies in the house, who will light up each time they walk into the room and reach for them. By the time the babies are older, perhaps they will be blessed with nieces and nephews to babysit. They will learn a lot from each other growing up.

The other day, I witnessed yet another reason to give your children siblings. You know that game that babies love to play when they are sitting in their highchairs? The "throw-something-on-the-floor-and-squeal-until-someone-hands-it-back-to-you" game? Juju discovered this game the other night while I was cooking supper. I groaned. But Gem and Caveman were there in a flash giggling and picking up Juju's toys, and the three of them kept each other entertained for a good 30 minutes. I hope to get a video next time!

Here are some recent pictures of the siblings...

Juju's First Bites

We delay feeding our children solid food until they have good head support, can sit well, show an interest in eating, and are old enough that their GI systems are more developed (more able to digest solid food and less chance of developing allergies.) It's usually around the time that they get their first teeth. Juju has been interested in eating for awhile now and has been grabbing my fork when I am holding him. Of course, we waited until the whole family was home so that we could all see and take pictures and videos. Even though this is my fifth child, these little milestones don't get any less exciting!

Here he is taking his first bites of a mashed banana. You can hear his siblings in the background making a big fuss over him.


Some pictures...


He thoroughly enjoyed his first solid food!

Look What Mojo Did!

Mojo has been asking for about a year now to pierce her ears. We waited to make sure that's really what she wanted to do, and then we decided that she could get them pierced for her 8th birthday. Her birthday is in 2 weeks, but we got them a little early. She was really nervous that it was going to hurt, but she did fine! She only flinched a little. Now she's really excited about her new earrings!
Here she is showing off her new earrings (click on thumbnail):