My Planned Parenthood Poster Contest Entry

Back in 2003, Planned Parenthood hosted a poster contest to celebrate the 30-year anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The theme of this contest was “Behind Every Choice Is A Story.”

I couldn’t help it; I had to submit an entry. I found it recently while going through some old folders, and I thought it was worth sharing again. It got me a few hate emails from the PP folks at the time. ;-)

(Click to see full size) 
Speaking of Roe v. Wade…did you know that Norma McCorvey (aka Jane Roe) is pro-life now? I heard her speak a couple months ago. Here is her book “Won By Love”.

National Life Chain, Sunday October 2nd

A peaceful, silent witness:

My ten-year-old wrote these words in her journal this week:
”People kill babies all over the world, every day, and it’s wrong! Who would want to kill a baby? Babies are sweet, cute, and fun to love, watch, and teach. Their little voices are…they make my heart explode with joy! I LOVE BABIES!”
That’s what is being destroyed. Babies. Children recognize that babies are babies even when they are still in their mamas’ tummies.
The lawmakers recognize that they are babies—they’ve even enacted laws (the Unborn Victim of Violence Act) to make it a crime to kill an unborn baby. Sometimes.
Medical personnel recognize that they are babies. Doctors and nurses work diligently and lovingly to save babies who are too small to survive outside their mothers’ wombs. If their mothers want them. 
The saddest thing of all is that many of the mothers who choose abortion also realize that their choice ends the life of their baby. Some don’t realize it at the time, but make the discovery later. I’ve heard from so many of them through the years—friends and strangers. They often live for years with regret, guilt, depression, anxiety, and even PTSD. They experience infertility and complications affecting future pregnancies. My heart aches for women who carry this heavy burden around, and I want every woman who finds herself in this situation to know…Jesus loves, forgives, and heals. I also want women to know…there is a better choice.
 
For now, it remains legal for mothers to choose to kill their own unborn babies. We are a split personality nation—on the one hand, we go through great lengths and expense to save the lives of our smallest helpless members. On the other hand, we destroy them and throw them into the garbage. It’s illogical. It’s wrong.

 
My friend’s son, Little Man, age 10: " It is really a no-brainer, who would not stand up for life? It is LIFE, just stop and think about it.”

 
Sunshine, age 17:  “It was nice to see so many people honking and waving in support. But then there were those people who were driving by making rude gestures at us. When I saw them, I thought it would be nice if everyone were honking and waving. Then I realized…those who are making the rude gestures are the ones who need to see our message the most.”

My Take On "The Mommy Wars"

My friend, Tanya, at Mamallamapalooza wrote a post this past week about the "Mommy Wars", and it reminded me of a message that I got from a friend not too long ago. My friend apologized for being judgmental of me in the past for working outside the home. That's one of the big battles in the Mommy Wars, you know...Stay-at-Home Moms vs. Working Moms. My reply to her went something like this...

It's OK, really. I get judgment from both sides, from women who think that I should be home with my children ALL the time and from women who think that I'm wasting my talents and "not pulling my weight" by only working one day a week when we are struggling financially. But I have no hard feelings, because I am secure that the decisions I make are right for *us*.

I will encourage my daughters to further their education and to have a backup plan, but I also will encourage their hearts to be in their homes and families. If they do have an outside job, I want them to search their hearts and ask themselves what is their motivation for working. Is it so that they can afford more stuff? Or is it because their family has true needs that can best be met by them contributing to the finances somehow? I want my daughters to look to the Proverbs 31 woman as an example.

I've looked at working from home, but I've heard so many WAHMs complain about putting in long hours for pennies. I just can't see how that would be better than me leaving the kids with their loving, capable daddy for 12 hours every week and then being able to give them my full attention the rest of the time. One 12-hour shift a week adds roughly $1400 a month to our family budget. The pros outweigh the cons.
The money I make has not gone to finance "stuff", but has gone toward eliminating debt, paying to keep our 10-year-old vehicles running, paying for educational needs, paying for dental expenses, paying for the midwife, etc. We live frugally.

And on the days when I do have to put on my scrubs and leave the house, I always ask myself what the mother/baby unit or ICU would be like if none of the nurses there were Christian mothers. ;-)

I'm sharing this here because I believe I have good reasons for choosing what I choose. It makes sense for our family. If my situation were different, if I had a different profession, if my family dynamics were different, I'm sure the pros and cons would be weighed differently. And because I have good reasons for choosing what I choose, I trust that other women also have good reasons for choosing what they choose. I refuse to fight in the Mommy Wars, and I have no hard feelings toward the women who judge me for doing things differently because I am at peace with what I do. When I share information on why we do what we do, I hope you realize that I do so because I appreciate folks sharing with me what works for them. It's an inspiration for me to try out different things. Sometimes I find a new way of doing things. Sometimes I say "hmmm, interesting" and stick with what we are already doing. But I appreciate hearing/reading about it anyway.

I had a conversation with friends at church last week, in which someone said I was a "real woman" because I had my last two babies without pain meds. Oh, no. I explained that I had epidurals with my first three. I wasn't very happy with those experiences, so I tried something different. I figured out along the way that it was easier on me to go without pain meds than with them. Same with breastfeeding; it's easier for me than bottle feeding. I've tried both public school and homeschooling, and I'd rather do it myself at home. Using herbal remedies on my children has prevented the headache of pediatrician visits. I'm all about what works, y'all.
So, you say you'd rather have an epidural during labor asap? I would encourage you to look into the benefits of birthing naturally, but I'd also say do whatever makes your birth comfortable and peaceful. Breastfeeding didn't work for you and your baby? Although I would encourage you to try again next time, as the benefits are great and each baby is different, I'd also say please don't feel guilty if you have to feed your baby a bottle. You don't think you can teach your children what they need to learn at home? I'd say you don't give yourself enough credit! But I'd also say give them what you believe they need. Taking your children to the pediatrician everytime they cough brings you greater peace of mind? Go get your peace of mind; you already have enough to worry about. Whatever you decide, I'm not judging you, mama.

Can we please just share with each other, support each other, and get along?

A New Baby

It is my belief that every new baby is precious and should be joyfully welcomed. Yet, preparing to announce a new baby to the world creates in me feelings of joy mixed with...dread. Some of the comments I get from folks have a less-than-welcoming vibe to them. In fact, some of them have more of a judgmental kind of vibe. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and assume/hope/pretend that they are just innocent banter. Maybe the pregnancy hormones make my usually thick skin a bit thinner. I never know what my mood will be on any given day. So how about we just go ahead and get it all out of the way now? If you have just learned that I am expecting another baby, and one of these questions or comments forms in your mind, here’s the response I might give you depending on the mood I’m in at the time. That way, next time we bump into each other in real life, we can talk about how hot it is, or our favorite recipes, or whatever.

1. “Don’t you know what causes that?”
Joyful: Sure, I do! My beautiful children make the world a better place…of course, I want more!
Sarcastic: No. I slept through my whole OB/GYN rotation in nursing school. Do you mind filling me in?
Silly: Yeah, this is what happens when you hold in your farts! Believe me, I will NEVER AGAIN hold in my farts! (I like this one when my belly is prominent.)
Irritated: OK, that question is getting a bit old now. Can’t you come up with something more original? 
Weepy: So you think I’m stupid just because I value children?
Frankly speaking: I learned in elementary school how babies are made, and I’ve also done quite a bit of research on the different family planning methods and how they work on our bodies. Not only do I have problems with contraceptives and sterilization from a women’s health standpoint, I also have problems with them on a moral level. This is one of my soapbox topics; do you want me to go on? Well, alright then. But I’d love to give you a copy of Dr. Janet Smith’s lecture “Contraception: Why Not?” to listen to in your spare time.  
We also don't have children solely because we don't believe in using contraception (NFP is acceptable to us and is just as effective as contraception at avoiding pregnancy...when we choose to use it.) We have children because we value them. They are blessings to us, not burdens. Each one of our children is loved and wanted.

2. “Wow, you have your hands full!”
Joyful: I really do! But not as full as my heart!
Sarcastic: That’s a very astute observation.
Silly: Actually, I have a couple hidden that I can pull out in emergencies.
Irritated: Ya think? 
Weepy: Are you offering me one of yours?
Frankly speaking: Yes, my hands are full. My life is busy and even overwhelming at times. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

3. “Are you trying to catch up with the Duggars or something?”
Joyful: We’re pretty happy with our own family.
Sarcastic: Sure, ya know, every family who wants more than three children is secretly trying to catch up with the Duggars. 
Silly: Nah. It's just that I'm so hawt and he's such a stud! We can't seem to leave each other alone!
Irritated: Nope.
Weepy: <sigh> If only I had it together as much as Mrs. Duggar.
Frankly speaking: I really am not concerned about keeping up with any other family, expectation, or status quo. The only person whose opinion I care about is God’s. 

4. “Six? OMG, are you serious?! That’s a lot of kids!” 
Joyful: Yeah, ain’t it great? My house is always rockin’!
Sarcastic: No, I just said that because it's so funny to watch people freak out.
Silly: All part of my plot to dominate the world! Mwahahahaha....
Irritated: I think we're doing just fine with them.
Weepy: <Smile and nod>
Frankly speaking: Six used to seem like a lot to me, but now that I’m there, it doesn’t seem like that many. I adjust and adapt with each child.
Besides, in the crowd I hang with, six is just a medium-sized family.

5. “You must be a saint/superwoman.”
Joyful: No, I’m just blessed!
Sarcastic:  You must not know very many saints/superwomen.
Silly: I am! I just leave my halo/cape at home because I don’t want to be a show-off.
Irritated: C’mon. Do I look like a saint/superwoman to you? Seriously?
Weepy: Sometimes I don’t do such a great job of juggling it all.  
Frankly speaking: I’m no more saintly or super than you are. I struggle with the same things that every mother struggles with--patience, organization, discipline, fatigue, worrying about my kids, and on and on.  I trust God to give me the tools I need to carry out the work He has set before me. He will give me what I need WHEN I need it, not before.

6. “When are y’all gonna be done?” (or “Geez, how many more do you plan to have?”)
Joyful: We’re just getting started!
Sarcastic: I dunno. One of my kids broke the crystal ball, so I can no longer read the future.
Silly: When the timer dings.
Irritated: We’re the ones raising them; it’s really nobody else’s business.
Weepy: I don’t know. Sometimes I think I’d like to move past the diapers and lack-of-sleep phase...
Frankly speaking: God is Lord over ALL my life, including my family size. I entrust those decisions to Him.

7. “Are you gonna get fixed this time?”
Joyful: Oh, honey, I am fine just the way I am!
Sarcastic: I ain’t broke. 
Silly: Have they figured out how to fix me from misplacing my keys and cell phone? I’d be all about that.
Irritated: What do you think is wrong with me that needs to be fixed?
Weepy: No, that’s not an option.  
Frankly speaking: Fertility is the natural state of health for a woman my age. Sterility is caused by declining health or disease. I do not plan to intentionally cause a perfectly healthy organ to no longer function properly--how backward is that?! Nor do I intend to subject myself to the health risks of these so-called “fixes”.
Besides, contrary to popular opinion, we really don't control as much of that sort of thing as we'd like to believe. God is still the author of life. I’ve personally known a few folks who have had a baby after getting themselves “fixed” and a few more who have had the heartbreak of ectopic pregnancies following tubal ligation. The only 100% effective way for preventing pregnancy is total abstinence or removing the reproductive organs. No, thank you.

8. “I could never afford that many children!”
Joyful: We are clothed and fed and happy. God blesses us abundantly!
Sarcastic: Too bad you don’t have a rich husband like me.
Silly: It pays off when they get a little older. Free housework, yard work, and babysitting!
Irritated: I guess it just depends on your priorities. I prefer a household of love to a household of things.
Weepy: It’s hard to make ends meet sometimes. But we manage.
Frankly speaking: In Matthew 6:19-21, Jesus tells us "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” 
My children are the only earthly treasures that I have the hope of taking with me to heaven. I will not be able to take my house, cars, clothes, vacations, diplomas, ranks, or even this old body into heaven. The fleeting amusement of material possessions just doesn’t compare to the lasting joy of another child!
And we’ve found that we are actually more content with less “stuff”. Kids really don’t need a bunch of material things. We all know of children who have every toy under the sun and are still bored and dissatisfied. What they really need is food, shelter, parents to love and teach them, and siblings to play with. We are never lacking in those things.
And no, I’m not worried about college. I got scholarships and worked my way through college, and if my children want to go badly enough, I expect they will do the same. If they aren't willing to work hard for it, they sure don't deserve a free ride. So far, they are turning out smarter than me. ;-)

9. “Do you ever worry about overpopulation? What about your ecological footprint?”
Short answer: No, I'm not sold on the idea of overpopulation.
Long-winded answer: I suspect that the overpopulation myth is propelled by a hidden agenda. The UN Population Database is projecting that the world’s population will peak at about 8 million in 2040 and then decline indefinitely. The decline is expected to be much more rapid for industrialized countries than less-developed countries, and it's hard to stop a decline once it begins. I’ve read many sources over the past few years express concern about a  population implosion. This does concern me, as I could possibly experience the effects of this in my lifetime.
I believe that many of the world's problems, such as hunger, clean air, and clean water, are due more to asinine policies of corrupt governments rather than not enough room for us all. Ah, but this topic would best be discussed over a cup of coffee on a long, lazy afternoon while the children are playing outside. As with the contraception issue, there's just too much to say here.
As for ecological footprint…many of the larger families I know are one-income families, which means we have to be more careful with our resources than the average family. I could write a couple paragraphs rattling off all the things we do to conserve our resourses (and I'll be happy to if you really want to know), but for now I'll just say most of the large families I know are more “green” than other families I know who only have one or two children and can afford more convenience and material things. We strive to teach our children to be good stewards over their resources.  

10. “Better you than me!”
On a good day: I wholeheartedly agree.
On a bad day: I wholeheartedly agree.

11. “Congratulations! I’m so happy for y’all!”
Thank you so much! We’re happy, too!

And...my most favoritest comment ever, made to me by my Daddy when I announced to him that I was expecting my 4th child...
“Oh, goody, another grandchild! I hope you have a dozen!”
I laughed and said “Oh, Daddy, a dozen? Maybe half a dozen.”
I'm sure he's watching us from heaven, proud as can be, and cheering us on.

March for Life 2010

A few mornings ago, I found that my 8-year-old and her younger brother had been busy  making signs. One read “Abortion is wrong!” and the other read “Do not kill babies!”  I was very proud that they were inspired to do this on their own. We had planned on bringing them with us, but unfortunately, we left them at home.
 
It was a beautiful day for the march. The temperature reached the 60s today, and the sun shone brightly.
 
I was happy to see some of the doctors I’ve worked with walking with us this year.

At the end of our walk up to the capitol, we heard the testimonies of women who had undergone abortions. God bless them for speaking to such a large crowd about such a personal and painful experience. It was sad to listen to, but even sadder to me was how similar their stories were to the stories that I’ve heard from some of my own friends who have had abortions. 
Abortion is not what it is made out to be by Planned Parenthood. Do you think you can just walk in, get an abortion, problem solved, and go on with your life as before? There are serious physical risks with abortion. Women die from “safe” legal abortions. Women are deformed and disabled by legal abortions. Women suffer infertility and repeated miscarriages after legal abortions. There are serious psychological risks with abortion. Women suffer from Post-Abortion Syndrome. Women commit suicide after abortions. Women live with grief, guilt, and regret, even many years later. These women need our love and support. The reason that organizations such as Project Rachel exist is because SO many women need healing from the physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of abortion. If you are one of these women, please know that love, support, hope, and healing are available for you. Please know that someone cares about what you are going through!
 I also saw many young women carrying signs that read "Women DO regret abortion" and many young men carried signs that read "Men regret lost fatherhood." 

And I couldn’t pass up getting a picture of this beautiful little life… This is the face of what is destroyed by abortion. This is the heart that would have stopped beating had his birth mother made another “choice”. This is the family that would have missed out on his smiling presence. 

You see, the abortion crowd is no longer trying to convince us that “it is just a clump of cells”, as they did when the horrible “choice” was made legal. That lie has been revealed by technology. We can see into the womb. We know that a baby’s heart is already beating by the time a woman realizes she has missed her period. We can see that babies react in the womb to outside noises, lights, tastes, and painful stimuli. We have good evidence that pain is felt as early as 8 weeks gestation (can you imagine how painful it would feel to be ripped apart in a vacuum?) NICU doctors and nurses work diligently and lovingly to save even the tiniest premature babies who can possibly be saved. That is, if their parents want them.
But that’s the thing. We’ve determined that they are human lives. It’s just that their value is determined by whether or not they are wanted by those who created them.

Now the pro-abortion crowd’s argument is MY MY MY. MY body, MY choice! I should be able to enjoy what pleasure I can without being inconvenienced by the consequence of it. I shouldn’t have to be pregnant/take care of a baby if I don’t want to. These are the ideas behind the lame arguments that my teen daughter hears frequently from some of her friends at school. They are the same ideas behind the same lame arguments that I hear from some of my adult friends.
MY wants, MY needs, MY desires first. Even if it means painfully ripping apart another innocent body. Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta hit the nail on the head when she said “It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you can live as you wish.” 
And what argument can we make against this mentality? How can you convince a person that that it’s really not all about THEM?

I’m teaching my five children, maybe even more if we are so blessed, about selfless love, about sacrifice, about placing others first, about right and wrong, about doing the right thing even when it’s hard, and about abortion ending an innocent life. My message is sinking in. My sixteen-year-old is proud that our family stands so firmly for life. She has said that she will teach her future children the same (and she's also hoping for a large family). ;-)
If the pro-abortionists choose to abort their children, and if they teach what children they do have that it's OK--even admirable--for them to avoid the burden and inconvenience of children if they wish...well, I’m pretty hopeful about where this debate will be in another thirty years. 

(My lovely friend Catherine, who is also diligently teaching her children.)

March For Life 2009

Our family is 100% pro-life. I realize that some people are offended by the term "pro-life" and would rather we use "anti-abortion" instead. Yes, we are against abortion. But our pro-life stance goes deeper than just abortion. We respect human life from the moment of conception until natural death, and we believe that it is up to God and not us to decide when life begins and when it ends. We do not support euthanasia, the death penalty, or unjust wars. We believe that it's our responsibility to protect the innocent.
One thing that we are not is "anti-choice". I'm willing to bet big money that everyone reading this understands how babies are created (including myself, for all those folks who think it's witty to ask me "Don't y'all know what causes that?" ) We all know that sex creates babies. We all know that contraceptives can and do fail. We can choose to say "Yes, I'm willing to take on this responsibility, knowing full well what the consequences may be" or we can choose to say "No, I'm not ready to accept the possibility of those consequences."

“My body, my choice!” “Keep your laws off my body!” Sure. But there is another body to consider here, besides your own. Should you have the choice to rip an innocent human being apart limb from limb? Do you even know what happens during an abortion? Click here or here. I warn you, these videos are hard to watch, but if you identify yourself as "pro-choice", don't you think you should be aware of what the choice you are "pro" entails? This is the body that is affected by choice.

“It’s not a baby, it’s a fetus.” Have you watched the videos above yet? A fetus is just another stage in human development. Before you were an adult, you were a child. Before you were a child, you were an infant. Before you were an infant, you were a fetus. Before you were a fetus, you were an embryo. My point here is that from the moment of conception, a separate, unique, human entity is created. By the time that most women realize they’ve missed a period, a tiny human heart begins beating. Abortion stops that tiny human beating heart. The real question here is when should you have the choice to kill an innocent human?

My favorite one is this:

This one sums up for me the “pro-choice” mentality well. This is the crudeness, the lack of respect, the self-absorbed, instant gratification mentality that plagues our society. My dear woman, I am thinking outside your box. I’m thinking of the destruction of an innocent human life. I’m thinking of the way having an abortion will change your life forever, whether you realize it or not. Do you understand the risk of complications (including death) from “safe”, legal abortion? Do you realize that so many women are psychologically scarred by abortion that there is a name for it—Post-Abortion Syndrome? Yes, I AM thinking outside your “box”. Are you?